Balloons and Baboons

A tale of stupidity

Kevin Putzier


Photo by Meg Jerrard on Unsplash

Fair warning, this is a rant.

The balloon fiasco ended exactly as I predicted, from a military standpoint. Now I’m gonna point some fingers. And while I lean left, y’all gettin’ a piece too.

Background: The Chinese launch a surveillance balloon of some sort, which finds its way over the United States after crossing a fair amount of the world. It’s traveling at approximately eleven miles above ground, depending on the terrain below. Being that it’s humongous ane likely poses a threat to those underneath it, the military advises the president to NOT shoot it down immediately. Said president, being of reasonably sound mind, listens to the experts and waits until it’s safely over water. At which point they bring it down.

Now there are a number of fair points about the strategic damage such a balloon could do. But even my lefty friends were freaking out over this. C’mon, people, it’s a balloon. They have satellites in orbit that cover that same track. The only advantage the balloon could really give them is a longer linger. Which is not trivial, but it’s mainly a pain for the folks on the ground who need to make sure it doesn’t see anything we don’t want it to. This was not a major incursion nor a major threat. Relax.

Now my rant. This is mostly at the right wing, and particularly at some absolutely unqualified motherfuckers and unclefuckers who are masquerading as congressmen. It’s also at a very few people on the left who were saying the same shit.

So, right out the gate. No, nobody would be shooting it down with a rifle or a shotgun. This is simply not possible. I know that physics is not something that greatly interests the right wing, but guns are another story. We now have proof absolute that a great many of these second amendment rapists have no fucking idea how guns function or what their capabilities are.

So let me lay it out. There MAY be artillery pieces that can shoot that high. I don’t know. In a ballistic arc, there are definitely guns that can shoot farther, but straight up? I really don’t know.

What I do know, with certainty, is that the favored phallic symbol of the American Right will top out at around ONE FUCKING MILE high. It then will fall, accelerating to…



Kevin Putzier

I am a practicalist, which means I take political and social ideas from all sides and try to find what works. Mostly Progressive.