Wow. Just wow.

I read this and have to wonder how you got in my head. I suspect we're around the same age, and my experience is very similar, though my dad didn't have much to do with my trauma.

The rest of it? All I can really add is that it wasn't localized. My dad was an electrician. We lived where the construction booms were, and that meant I went to schools all over the west and midwest growing up. The most tolerant, and least traumatic if I'm to be honest, was in Northern California.

The rest could have been my life, and yes, it still stings. Sometimes when I lease expect it.

I will disagree on one thing, though. I'm not a big man, never was. Little guys can fight. We have to. It shouldn't be that way, but you're assesment was correct. If you kick one of these "Macho" men down, they go get their whole horde. Sometimes you can shame one of them into a one-on-one conflict, more likely, they'll ambush you.

One fast dude has the advantage against three or more stooges. You don't have to care where your blows land. Also, I learned pretty quickly that weapons are an equalizer.

I am not proud of the number of fights I got in. It got to the point, after being a target for so long, that I quit running. I stood my ground, or chose it, and I fucked some people up. Probably more than they deserved. My only pride in it is that I never started it.

What this did to my psyche I'm still figuring out. I'm not a violent person by nature, but by the age of 17, I was on a dark and violent path. Had I not gotten out of school and into the harsh discipline of Tae Kwon Do, I'd probably be dead or serving time by now.

THIS is what they do to kids who aren't Jockstraps. This is why, even though I support the idea(l) of public education, my kids are homeschooled. The vaunted socialization is that of a minimum security prison. I don't want my kids to learn to be thugs and asshats. I want them to grow up human.